Saturday, November 21, 2009

I am Back.NOTICING

Warning: viewers discretion advised. The following text may contain explicit contents on the authors life. The writer is not liable to any legal actions whatsoever. ( it means I will not kena)

ok. i am back after a long hiatus. so, the holidays starts again, and what do i occupy it with? um.... i sit and stare at d screen i am staring at. it excites me to be doing dis the whole day. reli nothing better to do. oh, i did wash d car jus now. i even vacuum it, clap hands for the amazing shuen. u noe, i did realise important things while working on the car like there is this hole in one of the car mats. Besides that, i noticed dat my pants really need some tightening. It was coming down every 15 sec. and it was getting pretty annoying after half an hour. i also learn dat the vacuum cleaner should have a smaller nossle after i sucked it nuts, bolts coins and tissues. while i was clening the car, my mum came over and said: u noe son, 1 day when u wan to wash ur clothes, and if you are lazy, u can hang yr clothes outside until it rains like what i am doing now with my flowering pots since you always complaint about how difficult it is to clean things." and i must admit it, my mum give good advice.

Flashback.....
Yesterday i went for a jog and i was jogging so confident ly until i notice something when i was halfway through. i wore my shirt inside out. after that, it was really horrible. i did not wear my spects and was half blind by dat. i could not c if ppl were staring at me. i kind of shrunk whenever someone cums near me. cus my shirt was kind of obvious.

oh yeah, i also noticed dat our mr bala has quite a catchy caller ringtone. it starts with:yenaneeeeahenanne.i am trying to figure out d songs title.

i tink i should call it quitts today as i suddenly noticed dat i have some unfinished buisness in my lavatory. Ciao, to the jamban.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Unceasing Fever.

My heart,
Wants to move,
It won't shut up,
It wants love.

Tormented,
As the tears fall,
Forgotten,
As a blank wall.

My heart,
Only wants her,
It won't budge,
Forever.

It was filled,
When she first smiled,
And from there it built,
To longer than miles.

I used to call her sister,
She called me brother,
It changed to lover,
To an unceasing fever.

Tears like rain,
Marked the day,
Falling like a train,
I started to pray.

I was blinded by another,
When I first saw her,
It was a mistake that will bother,
Me forever.

I'm sorry,
Is all I can say,
I know the pain she had to carry,
When to another my eyes lay.

But I changed,
But she could not bury the bite,
The fact that lay bare,
That our love was not at first sight.

I used to call her sister,
She called me brother,
It changed to lover,
To an unceasing fever.
By the almighty Tam Khai Shuen.(the extraordinary poet, Interested??? give me a call and i might write a touching poem that will send you to heaven for only RM5.Affordable and definitely worth every cent of your RM 5 note.)

Monday, September 7, 2009

bloody silly.

Looking through the glass,
I show my shiny ass,
To the beautiful lass,
With blonde pubic hair.

She only sees,
The thing above my knees,
Which is as big as a bee,
That i use to pee.

I was horny,
When i was lonely,
As she was so sexy,
I want to make her happy.

It is an adventure,
That she must endure,
For the mighty pleasure,
That she will always treasure.

I was rob,
As she bang me with a mop,
And my bee was chopped,
But it was a good hand job.

She was a tasty woman,
Just like Japanese ramen,
I was in heaven,
That's why i say Amen...
(from the best of Billy Lim, Joe Tam,Mac Lee and Sam Ooi.)
A GOOD HAND JOB

friends forevea

To be in love,
Is a big vow,
Staying together and never move,
Least of all now.

So I fell for her,
And I even call her my girl,
She was my cosy fur,
Where I lay and curl.

But I have to ask you,
Ever love without holding back,
And out of the blue,
She told you to pack.

It is like running into a wall,
Losing breath and losing blood,
Reducing to not a crawl,
Treated more like dirt.

Of all those times we have been,
Of all those things we have seen,
How could she still be so mean,
Like without her I would be fine.

I can't remember how many tears I shed,
While i lay in the dark on my bed,
To you I was like dead,
Or that we had never met.

I can still remember your eyes,
But i never knew then that the dice,
Had already been thrown thrice,
Resulting your treatment of ice.

I still love you,
My love still new,
And as pure as dew,
With my head manning its crew.

Look into my eyes,
Touch my heart,
My love for you still won't suffice,
As it is still a bud.

But it will flourish,
If you don't banish,
And make me famish,
Of our friendship.

Monday, August 17, 2009

dadadadadadadadaadadadda

speaking of practicality, humans have none, they thrive for what they want, what they hope, what they dream of everyday when they had their backs lying on their bed. but few succeed during their stay on this wonderful planet, and many others just get disillusion and dejected about their lives. and what have all this blabbering got to do with me? well, i am categorized in the losers section. i can have perseverance, hope,but achievement and me dun get along. i dun mind failure, but i do mind frustration. a fiasco doesn't bring me disappointment , its the hindrance.
i hate yesterday . it just makes a point to me that i am an utter letdown. what is it about me ? i dun know. bad luck? i dun know.
for example, look at my bloody pc. it just wont work for me when i bloody wanted it to, and that is just the peak of my problems. why such a foul mood? oh come on, somethings just wont happen for me, and many others that are unseek for would be ever present until the time that i needed them.
hah, sorry, dun noe what got into me, should enjoy life instead of making predicaments. so what happend to me this last few weeks? hmmm. nothing particular. except getting molested every now and then by the gays in my class. oh yeah, and i bloody hate chinese. stupid, unforgiving chinese periods. 6 classes on the last three days. and that is 'not much'. and the teacher was so cool. she keeps calling me to answer questions, knowing pretty well that i might as well eat my socks than rather get it right. i know its for my own good and blah blah blah, but chinese sub. and mr Tam Khai Shuen here is like a dog and a cat, .its like dung beetles and dung. you can roll me through a pile of chinese books but i would still be smelling stinking english.paste a chinese book on my face, and you have me paste my shoe on your face. but you know, chinese language is getting important, and we should study the language with willingness, that is willingness forced into me. so, all those suckers who gave up chinese and never leart chinese, you will never know whats it like to stand a whole period because you did not know the answer your chinese teacher asked you. feeling envious of me? its never too late. feel free to join me in my episode of chinese lessons, thats the time when i try to look studious for my chinese teacher while my mind is completely blank,. it is the art of acting clever while knowing you are utterly lost by the person standing in front of you, teaching you CHINESE.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

king of cannons

today, i would like to present one of the greatest and most influential person i have and will ever met. i met him 1st when i was in standard 2 and his parents are my parents friend. okok, getting to d point. so, as luck arises with everywhere i go, i was again in d same class with him dis year. you all out der reading dis, dun ever tell him or either he hav my head or I hav ur head. i guess i dun ned to mention his name would i???? redundant. ok. to us, he is king... king cannon.
one of his most distinguish features dat only a deaf could miss is his voice. his voice does not make him influencial or remembered... it is his way of conversing through the boom hole dat he calles his mouth. he is the king, the reign, unprecented king, of boasting.....oh i yesterday played a game... i killed 6 person before the game disconnected from host.... by the gods, the game did not even started when the host got disconnected. i can give u a thousand and one examples, the next will always be worst den d last. but as i said, it is redundant. he is KING. and today he proved it again.
'look .... like dis...... hit d ball der.... yeah... dats it.....' dats wad the king told me to do. teaching me how to hit d ball when plying volleyball when the competition was about to start. yeah. i said' now i noe, thanks.' and he walk of. nth particullarly exciting after dat. when our match started, he was d 1st to serve. he said he could do it, we believe him. peeeeettttt. the wistle blew, he struck it with force, amazing us, as the ball struck d net and never went over.yeah, we were 'impressed' with his 1st shot, nvm, maybe it was his nerves. let him get hold. as the game when on, and his kungfu style volleyball was on show, and he made our team 'won' 5 or 6 points. he was the hottest asset on d team yeah. without him, i wonder if our team might have made it at least to round to..... haiz... in d end, he 'contributed' at least 11++ points for the opposite team, he rocksssssssss. i was always impress with how he hold himself after he failed. he said, it was my hand.... blah blah blah.
and before i end, he was also very boastful den he got 60+=for moral and did not fail add math, i was impress as ever with him.he was like a stupid cock crowing, living up to his name as KING OF CANNONS. thank you thank you

Monday, July 13, 2009

yeah

Eh. where was i again? lost track of time, too busy with my personal career of eatin and sleepin. hmmmm... wad have i done dis past few days? eat and sleep and play seems to occupy most of my time. oh yeah, i when to penang . i haven been der since my bro went away. i went der on friday to visit my ah ma n ah kong. had to sacrifice my day of excitin futsal to go to penang and sit the whole day in the house doin nth , a nice exchange isn't it? so wad did my aunt and uncle say when dey 1st saw me after a few months??? come on u noe it... my pimples. Oh khai shuen wad happened to u? den i would say i was thinking of girls, hormone imbalance. as if i can do anythin about my face. at least d plus point is i borrowed a story book from me cousin, nice book sharlynn. but u gonna pay if i get bad results 4 dis exam. i used up d whole sunday to finish d book, all ur fault sharlynn, y do u hav to supply me wif dat book? not as if i wanted it, but it was actually quite nice. i would hav regretted if i have not read it, but it is still ur fault.
oh yeah speaking of days, i went to cinema wif fwen on thursday b4 my day in penang. watched transformer, too bad u cant watch cus someones pmr is comin up eh??? den on sunday had to waste a whole morn to receive me two prize at school. it was rainin d whole nite and mornin, imagin how nice is it to hav slept through d day. haiz... 1 of my biggest regret of my life.um... nth else. bb. gudnite u all(suckers) out der. remember me as d great one.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Kaucauing.

Um.... where was i? oh yeah, 24 of june. my family forgot my bday. i dun really mind. it is just dat i may suffer and cry in agony all by myself. ok, after my bday..... i got my only present from my mum's friend and guess wad she gave me?............. pimple cleanser to wash my pimple filled face, so cun, i go here, people tsk tsk tsk at my face, i go der , ppl say walao, look at his beautiful pimple face, mahai, as if i m not der.but nvm, my mum said her ugly duckling will bcum a swan.(dun say i bepaise)
After that, nth really happened, oh yeah, b4 dat, i went to physic tuition( ppl der also tsk tsk at my face, suckers. their look of concern cant cover wad dey were thinkin"oh, look at khai shuen, where goes his handsome face?'(dun say i bepaise)) den after d tuition, i went on with my routine,that is go do my small buisness at d tuition centre. ahmad went in 1st den i went in. i was halfway emtying my bladder when dey laugh outside and i was thinking'OMG something is really wrong. den suddenly, the lights when off and omg, i cant AIM. so i stood der not daring to move while i finish my buisness with dem laughing outside and with me cursing inside. it was about 2 minutes b4 det on d lights,so gatal ,ish.
oh yeah, stupid class, laugh at my bc essay, 小明和美燕, sien la dey all. dey pass d paper d whole class for a few days and i did not noe, ish. kacau betul. 37 marks out of 70 4 d essay is not bad la, is it????
today i was suppose to have group study, but d cancel last minute. so i had to ran to ibrhim to fetch my mum b4 she went away. when i got der she was not der, walao, i took 25 minutes to go to my fathers office at ceria der. and d books damn heavy and hot .nvm, i am ironman( dun say i bepaise)

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Tired

My granpa passed away on 15 of june so i was very busy dis few days.going to alor setar after school,sitting der making myself useless on d couch.It was pretty uneventful der , just meeting people around and reading stories.The most interesting part was when my aunt told me to write down the donors name, as usual,in chinese.Dey said dis , i said dat, so eventually i took 15 minutes to write down 2 ppl's name.And to rub salt into my wound, dey ask whether i was not chinese literate.After 5 days, the funeral procession finally came to an end.den we go back home and blah blah blah.O yeah,and taylor swift is mine.
So back to school again i have nth to say about it. Besides, i ate a worm from a durian seed. Actually it was not that bad, it was tasteless but quite juicy. I was multitasking, that is using the pc and eating durian, so i ended up with a worm in my mouth. U should try multitasking and u might be able to have unidentified living things in yr mouth.
Today is my birthday, but i still have to do housework.,no exemption for u buddy. Nth special on dis day except i was born 16 years ago on this same day. oh yeah, and i had to go to stupid tuition,siennnn.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

HIssy.

Back frm holidays, but still in d holiday period. So i waste my time slouching in front of the computer. ahhh, the best exercise is to stare in front of the computer for hours, nth can beat it, making yr eyes tired watching at the harmful light radiating into ur eyes,such joy. anyway, i had of course lagu training, d hell with d stupid activity.but i was a good boy of course, always dutifully present at d scene,but i stow away once, 4 futsal of course.my leg was aching for the touch of d ball so i decided i waont miss this game 4 a stupid training. i planned 2 stow away quietly , not letting mr bala c me, i was rejoicing as i waited 4 d car to show up(late as usual) as my teacher was busy at d basketball court. then my heart fell as he and his wife came out 2 d front gate AND my parents arrived, not bad 4 d timing huh?So d teacher ask me if i was leaving and(as a good boy) i told d truth and said yes.He said cannot and all d blah blah blah until my mother came out from d car.Shit i tot, my mom cant possibly say i am pontenging dis training jus 4 a match of futsal,. So i quickly walk toward my mom and said we are going to penang while winking my eyes as hard as i could at her, i had to admit it, she was good. she took over from there and said that i had to visit my ah ma in penang saying she was sick,gosh , both of us could win an oscar there and then.We ogt away clean of course and i ended up happily in d field plying futsal,littkle did i noe i kena curse when i lied 2 my teacher.it was halfway through d game when i was dribbling(skillfully as always,dun say i bepaise) when i (not so skillfully)kicked the ground. the sound from my ankle was like when u munch on an apple.oh yeah....d pain was instantaneous after dat. But i as always was tough(dun say i bepaise again) and plyed through d pain barrier becus my leg was still gatal from d lack of touching a football. I went back and got ready to watch a movie with my parents.b4 dat of course i touched my beloved keyboard again.Den Li han sms me bout something and after dat he said dun kacau him as he was going to wacth a movie too, it was d same movie of course.so i said i was watching d same movie too but li han dun believe me,(ppl always think i was a lying scumbag but in truth, i was an angel in d heart,dun say i am bepaise again.)So he sat in front of me not knowing i had told d truth for the duration of the movie, at d end of d movie he realise dat i was an angel and did not lie(dun say i bepaise again....).The moral of d story, dun think dat went somone looks like an lying scumbag, he is a con man. Think of him as Khai Shuen,The liar who has and angel heart.(did i say i was a liar, forgive me i am true to wad i say,always.(dun let me hear u say i am bepaise)
The curse of lying to my teacher strikes back.while i was watching d movie, 1 of my aunt called up and said my granpa was in hospital,apparently very weak, and guess wad he was in a hospital IN PENANG.So d next day, i really had to go to penang to visit someone sick.he was in a bad shape, so we could not do anything.but he was 98 d so we could not possibly treat him.
the moral of dis story, never lie(bout ppl being sick, it doesnot really matter if u lie bout other thing) tink like khai shuen and u will never go wrong(dun say i am bepaise even though i sounded like an ego)

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Hah, holidays

Seemed 2 be my 1st blog is it?Actually dis is my second page, my 1st doesn't really bring happy memories or in my case, i felt lazy bout my old blog. Well, old is old and new is new.

so holiday week isn't it? fun?sure. What is the hightlight of the week?i went to KL, yay!!!! sounds fun isn't it, only 3 words i would describe Kl, I HATE IT.Stupid hectic old town, i prefer anytime to lie on my bed rather than risk my precious time loitering in KL's busy streets. but the question is , wad didI DO in KL?

Shopping?nope.Googling pretty femines shpes?nope.Makan KL's kuey teow ting?nope.visiting relatives,definitely yes.Doen't seem 2 bad does it?well, my mom said ppl are not getting an younger so she decided it is time 4 us 2 do some ppl window shopping.Ok, relatives, wad do u think of them when i say d word?old, young, babies, teenagers?I spent 4 days with ppl 6 decades older than me, how about dat? i had such a happy time chatting away wif all my 'clicks' who are smilling without teeth. i feel so young wif them, interesting 4 days. and went we were on d way back home, guess wad? our air-con was not working, damn siok....exciting until i sweat till i smell.o yeah baby, d heat was so refreshing dat i could live wif it.
b4 i 4get, i went 2 malacca frm Kl,it was a pretty neventful trip, except 4 d last night.So, my Cik Chor(ancestor or something like dat) was bringing us 4 dinner, we did not know d way so he come in our car.Guess wad again? the 1st thing i notice from him was his DURIAN breath, refreshing isn't it?and i was sitting behind him,AND d air-con was blowing from front 2 back,so nice.

K,shuen